This was the end to what we'll chalk up as "One of those days." The sad thing was, it wasn't in the backyard where the neighbor's dog occasionally relieves himself. It was in my FRONT ROOM and somehow from my 1 1/2 year-olds diaper. YUCK!!!! This after a lovely late afternoon where I had seriously lost it--Mommy Dearest lost it!
Not sure if it was the fact that I'd gained 3 1/2 pounds since my last doctor's appointment (ummm yes, that was only a week ago, thank you very much! All baby, all baby, all baby--right?), or a 4 1/2 year old son turned destructo-boy that tipped the scales, but I was just GRUMPY! So to get out of the funk, I took the kids to the library. We only stayed 15 minutes because someone did something that apparently was a tragedy in my glass-is-half-empty state. So, I thought "Maybe if we go to the park with the handful of books we managed to grab, I'll be able to sit and peruse through my book (ironically "Piggy-back Rides & Slippery Slides", a book about being a fun mom)." The fun lasted for all of 12.7 minutes. The rest of the evening was spent rather enjoyably by my barking Drill Sargent orders of eat dinner, pajama's, potty and don't you dare get out of bed.Once everyone was down, I started picking up the remnants of the toys that prove that kids do indeed live here when I stepped in the present that escaped from the sides of my lovely daughters diaper.
Want to know the sad thing? While relaxing in the tub to unwind and obviously clean myself off, the guilt that always rears it's ugly head rushed in--"Wow, what a fun mom you are! This is awesome timing--days before Mother's Day. You're kids will have some LOVELY things to say about their dear, sweet mother! Dear Mom-- You have the loudest voice, and are so good at using it. Love, Ty". I kept having the image of building blocks being gently placed one on top of the other--proudly making them into a tower that grows taller and taller, and me coming in with one fell swoop and undoing in seconds what took months to build.
It's a good thing to have these quiet moments after a storm to realize how childish I was acting. I knew that motherhood would be both the most rewarding and hardest thing all rolled up into one messy, sticky, beautiful ball! Or more appropriately 3 lovely little faces. We just never know HOW hard and HOW wonderful and HOW quickly one emotion could change into the other. Thankfully the next day was 100x's better than the one before, I've apologized (again) for the way I acted and the kids surprisingly still love me with their perfect, forgiving spirits.
Maybe sometimes I need to step in poop every once in a while to appreciate the blessings that the everyday moments bring. My kids are my greatest teachers and I need to work harder & take better notes when I fail the quizzes so that I'll hopefully be stronger, better and wiser. Sounds like the kids are up--time to go pick up some blocks and start re-building!
Happy Mother's Day to all of you! Hope you're thoroughly spoiled!
16 comments:
Katie! Thanks for your note. It sure did boost my spirits! Thanks for your support it whatever we do. In all honesty, I do not do well with rejection--not one bit. I don't think anyone does, however I think I'm a little bit worse than others. I've been crying a lot after doors when people say no. The tears just keep on building throughout the day after hearing so many people say no. I can't hack it. I think it was a great idea and opportunity if you can just let the rejection roll off your back. That's what I'm supposed to do--but how? Oh well, we've decided it's not worth it to us to be out here and sad all the time. We will just be happy with being poor college students rather than depressed and making money. :D We've had fun though. Thanks for your support! We love you.
Hi Katie-
Hope its all good that I'm reading your blog, if not, let me know. Thanks for the great post though. I was laughing the whole time you were telling your story as it sounds all too familiar. It is amazing how motherhood is one giant ball of revolving emotions, isn't it? Thanks so much for having such a great sense of humor about it all!
YOU ARE AN INCREDIBLE MOTHER! Yes... we all have those days, but we do survive... as do our kids! That's why they are made out of rubber and their ears are just glued on.. (that's 'cause they can't hear us so well... unless it's on loud volume! ;) You are awesome... and remember what Katie Scarlett O'Hara said... "After all... tomorrow is... another day!" Love ya!
I feel so much better now, knowing that your human and all... :) j/k You always seem like you've got it together to me. And your just so NICE. Happy Mothers Day - you deserve it!
I heard once that its good for your kids to see you lose it once in a while so they can appreciate how amazing you are the rest of the time. This statement suits you...but for me its good for my kids to see me nice once in a while so that they can remember that their mom isn't completely horrible. Motherhood is all you said it is and more. How lucky are we to get to be moms, even on the days we step in poop. At least its your own kids poop and not someone elses kid...for some reason thats better. Anyway, I am rambling. I love your blog. You are a great example to me.
You're fabulous! We're all in the same boat and there's such comfort in that. My patience level seems to have taken a permanent leave-of-absense since having Brody and Cooper is getting the brunt of it. I feel guilty every night!
I love how honest you are about motherhood, we all feel the same way. And if there are moms out there who don't they're taking too much prozac:) Thanks for making me feel normal!!
I'm sick to death of poop. .
You mean...I'm normal? Really? Whew! I have poopy moments too, but luckily I also have bathtub moments when I realize where the real problem lies. Thanks for sharing and being such a great mom!
Katie,
I was laughing out loud! You are hysterical. Thanks for sharing. The last time I talked to your mom she was telling me how amazing you are with your kids. How you are kind but firm and they just seem to follow you adoringly as if you were the Pied Piper. She painted a picture that has stuck in my head for months and I've recalled it on several occasions to punish myself for the mess up I am most of the time. This blog entry has completely redeemed you from the untouchable in my eyes and after years of avoiding you, I might have the courage to call now...I seriously miss you and love you to death. Thanks for sharing the common adventures of motherhood with the rest of us.
I also appreciated your comments on our blog. We will get through this and be better for it. Thanks for cherring us on. Love ya!
Mindi
Aahh the joys of poop! Can't say I've stepped on it in my living room, but I have found pebbles in the toy room:)
Isn't it great how children are SO forgiving and a week down the road they probably won't remember any of that ever happened. :) You're still a wonderful mother!
Oh Katie! It is SO great to hear when stuff happens to OTHER moms besides just me! I am sure that your children LOVE you, and always will! They love you MORE because you are grumpy sometimes! We can't all be Grandmother! ;)
yowsers on the poop steppin'! thanks for the inspirational message...needed it after a day of cleaning!
Funny, I just stepped in a little Sophie poop this week. You know it's been a long day when you aren't totally disgusted that you somehow missed that little fall-out and had to find it THAT way, but are just bummed that now you have one more thing you have to do--clean your own foot! I'm so glad we're in the poopy party together! What would I do without you?
Thanks for the great post! I feel like I step in poop often and have reminders at night as well. You are a great mom and wish you well in the next one to come! Hang in there!
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