A few months ago I totally lost my cool with the kids. After laying into them about how frustrated I was, I swung open the freezer door where one of my little lovelies had precariously opened a bag of chocolate chips and they all spilled to the floor. It all felt like slow motion as each little morsel hit the wood flooring, I looked up and pointed to the ground and barked in my loudest voice "And you will pick up EVERY SINGLE LAST ONE OF THEM!" Hmmmm..ever heard of the straw that broke the camels back? I knew I was being totally ridiculous, so I quickly headed for the front door to give MYSELF a timeout and cool down on the front porch.
Open the door, and there's the old bishop standing on the front step about to drop off a flyer.....
AWESOME. Chalk one point up there for the O fam.
Last month while driving home from school, Ash was sulking because there wasn't time for a playdate with a friend that lives 20 minutes across town. So I dropped her off on the street and told her she had the rest of the walk home to figure out how to cheer up and then she could come back into our home. Literally-around the corner from my house. So when I'd pulled in and gotten the other kids in the house, she should have been home, but no sign of her. I started to panic inside. Okay, maybe I shouldn't have dropped her off on the BUSY side of the road. Surely she's been hit and it will be something I'll have to live with for the rest of my days here on this lovely earth. So I head outside just in time to see my cute friend turn her car around to see just why Ash is standing in the snow, without her coat on in tears. I hear her saying "My mom kicked me out of the car and just LEFT me here!" Parenting 1 0 1 gone wrong here. That's two points for me...
Actually, I have far too many points to keep up with. So, maybe let's forget about the whole tally thing, shall we? So my question is--why do I love something that I screw up so often?!?!? Holy Smokes some days are rough, and 2-year-olds could make anyone want to check themselves into an insane asylum, but then that same little helium-head voice says the cutest things & looks so cute with her arms wrapped around her favorite long-distance cousin. There's nothing quite like seeing your 5-year-olds face plastered to the window of the Relief Society door looking for you because the lesson has gone over 2 minutes, or the excitement of your 7-year-old about being chosen as the girl that gets blind folded at the party for the Swan Lake production she's in. Come on folks--the blind-folded girl at the party! I'm genuinely as happy for her as if she got top billing because it means so much to her. And don't get me started on the happy, cuddly, stinking cute 10 month old. Makes me want to go snuggle up with them one last time for the night.
But it's ALL of these moments that I need to enjoy and remember--the good along with the bad. I use the computer too often as mini "quick" escapes, but they end up sucking time away from what matters most to me. So I'm trying to cut back, which is why the postings have been a little more sparse and my time on other trivial things is being re-evaluated. Because I obviously have a lot to learn (that darn tally board...) and time is seriously slipping by. I am constantly being reminded of the big picture and know that I can try a little harder to be a little better today than I was yesterday.
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25 comments:
Ohhhh I am so glad I am not the only one! Thank you for your post, it makes me feel like there is hope for me =)
Every day I wake up and say "I'm going to be a little better today!" I should be perfect in about .....50 years, hopefully I won't have screwed my children up in the process:)
Thanks for the post. It reminds me that we moms are all in this together, drawing strength from one another.
Amy
I agree! You are not alone in this. We all (especially myself) lose our cool, mess up our kids, spend too much time "escaping". And they still adore us--that's the incredible part! Thanks for the reminder of paying attention to what's important while the kiddos are still little.
I need to print this post, hang it on the door, and remind myself what life is really about.
#1 It's okay that I loose it (not really, but at least I'm normal because Katie and Marisa do it too.)
#2 Remember how valuable and important our children are.
Amen Katie! I agree 100% with everything you said! (I'm not posting as much these days either) Seriously you are one of the most amazing mothers I know and I'm glad you have those days too. We're all human, we all know what's most important and that puts us all in the same boat. WE LOVE YOU!
Oh...katie I am so glad that I am not the only one! You are such a great mom and I love seeing you with your kids!! Thanks for the post and the great reminder!
I am a member of the "publish a book Katie Owens"! You seem to always say exactly the way I feel but in a much better way!!! Kudos! Aren't we all "moms"! The hardest job on earth, but in my eyes also the most rewarding!
I agree with everything you posted and all of the comments too! I have way too many impatient moments with my kids and I'm constantly reminding myself to cool off and remember the eternal perspective. Some days are better than others. :) I completely look up to you as a mother and it's nice to know that everyone goes through their non-mother-of-the-year times. :) Thanks for your words, I echo your sentiments exactly!!
Loved it...you're making me feel normal! I always worry that my children are going to have to spend years in therapy because of me (I hope not though). It's nice to know that this happens to all of us!
What a great post! Good to know I'm somewhat "normal" in the mom dept. I love that you had your daughter walk home and then she turned it on you. Happens to me all the time. My 9 year old is going on 17 so we're in for it!!
Well said...I think I might be going crazy too...me...the laid back one, is not so laid back these days. Keep enjoying your kids little excitements and accomplishments and loves. You help me step back and look at how I am doing things too. I need to try to be a little better.
Bless you Katie!
Love you,
jNae
You put everything that I feel nearly every day so beautifully! Even though some days are extremely tough, and you are right on about 2-year-olds, I know I am going to miss these days so terribly when they are gone. I think of my youngest being in school all day, and I get a pit in my stomach. I love having little ones (most of the time).
And if you insist on tallying, you should be honest with yourself - how often are you an amazing mother?!? Give yourself a point for every book you read, every cheek you kiss, every blanket you tuck under a tired child's chin - I bet you'll come out on top!
My mom told me once that she prayed every day for seven years that she wouldn't lose her patience that day. Finally, after seven years, it happened. It's funny, but I really don't remember her being much of a yeller. Kids are so forgiving.
Anyway...I understand on the priority thing. I'm just glad you're not gone for good. I love reading your insights and your positive attitude is so, so good for me.
You are wonderful! I needed this today! I'm glad I'm not the only one who messes things up once in awhile! You are such a great example to me! You have to keep blogging once in awhile, you always give such great advice and insight! I just love you!
I totally hear you on blogging less. I've been feeling guilty about it and have felt promptings to play with my kids more instead of reading what everybody else is doing with theirs. I'm so glad to read that you're human and lose your cool with your kids once in a while. I still remember answering my cell phone (which just happened to be in my pocket that day) in the bathroom when I had locked myself in there to escape an otherwise ugly scene with the kids. It was my mother-in-law. I still laugh about that. ("What are you doing?" "Oh, I'm just sitting here in the bathroom with the door locked so I won't kill the boys.") Katie, you're awesome! I love your posts when you have time, but I totally understand about blogging less.
I look at parenting this way...5 minutes great, next 5 minutes bad, next 5 great, next bad--the bad 5 can easily lead to a good 5 of apologizing, forgiving etc.
But dropping your kid off in the snow Katie? That is AWESOME!! I'm doing that too--I hate it when they sulk.
You're an awesome mom...I often think of the April Fool's dinner, that was classic.
I don't know what everyone is talking about, I NEVER loose my cool. Seriously. Did I ever tell you the one about throwing the scotch tape? Can't wait to see you in...5 weeks?!
KATIE!!! Found your blog, I love it! I'm so sorry how crazy life is, but it's so great to see I'm NOT the only one... Blogging helps me not take things so seriously and even laugh a little at all the chocolate chip messes. (Which drive me CRAZY!)
lots of love,
kellie
Whoever that cute friend was who pulled over to check on your cute daughter probably thought the parenting technique was awesome--probably--I'm just guessing.
I love beating myself up over how I've likely scarred my kids. Yes, I use the words 'kids' because I have lost it with the little one.
Hey Katie. It's Holly Mangum Lang. Yeah, this is a random comment, but I have to ask more people than just Marie on what it's like to live in the area that you do. I know that we'll have to settle for a smaller house, but is it really a ton of work having an older house, ton of money, etc. etc. What are the people like, lifestyle, and whatever else. Marie claims I'll fit in, but my husband is afraid he'll have to drive a Subaru to fit in and only eat organic food? True or untrue! :) I know this is way random, but I'm only in Utah for 2 more weeks and I need to narrow down some areas we'd like to live. IF, you have time, you can email me hollymlang@yahoo.com You're family is absolutely adorable!
Katie - you are darling. Seriously. In everyway. :) I love your honesty. And those kids are lucky little ducks to have you as their mom. LUCKY DUCKS!
OMG! and here I thought you were perfect with perfect kids! thank goodness I'm not the only one with days like those! You are an inspiration to me! love ya!
I can totally relate to your days. It's nice to see that someone else is posting about it. I am ashame sometimes that I don't want to admit that I have done those things. I know, as mom, I have beent there with my kids. I apprecaite you opening up about your days. It's nice to know I'm not along in my frustration with my kids. You're awesome! And you're a great mom.
Katie, this was wonderful read and a great reminder of what matters most/ Thanks
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